Recently I was at Curry in Hurry on Main, and I glanced over to see the new issue of City Weekly, the cover page reading “Pregnant Pause: The Pregnancy Resource Center wants Utah women to stop and think before they abort” [Aug. 12, City Weekly]. I was immediately drawn to the issue because of personal experience, and while I knew I’d take time to carve out 20 minutes before bed to read the article, I didn’t anticipate I’d be up until 3 in the morning pondering the article. I also began drafting a response to the piece, and for the first time ever, decided to share my own story on paper.
My story began five years ago this October—post-boyfriend break-up, and planning my escape from a beautiful but small resort town—when I stood in my bathroom staring at a little plastic divining rod that read “pregnant.” Shocked, I called a close friend who said she’d be at my house in no time. Instinctively, I dropped to my knees to pray to whatever God would hear me. At an impressive speed, I blurted out my pregnancy mission statement: “I will choose whatever will provide the most loving, stable and consistent circumstances for this baby.”
That alternative is something not mentioned in the article: adoption. That is what I chose.
My journey toward delivery was tumultuous. Odd to many, I didn’t leap with joy about the little zygote growing inside of me. I hadn’t seen many successful shotgun weddings, even between those in love and/or together at the onset of “Operation Pregnancy,” and after working with a couple of local pregnancy-support groups, my exploration of being a single mom did not match my ambitions for my baby’s future. So, what did Moses’s mom do with her son when she knew his future circumstances weren’t looking so good? She sent him to the Raft-of-Reeds Adoption Center, in hopes he’d find a better life.
The older I get, the more I appreciate the word “and.” It’s key to brainstorming, unites disparate ideas and is expansive and opportunistic. When a woman (and very often now, a man) is faced with an unplanned pregnancy, why does she stop at either abortion or keeping her baby when the beauty of today’s open adoptions allow her to choose her ideal parent(s) and an adoption scenario that fits her desires, up to and including an active relationship with her child from birth? For a decision with such long-term implications, shouldn’t all options be explored?
Salt Lake City