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Threat Level E

8 dangers more imminent in your everyday life than Ebola

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8. That you just had to look up the word "imminent."

7. Every midterm political candidate just elected.

6. Getting caught in the middle of a violent iPhone 6 vs. Galaxy S5 argument.

5. Any Trax train, anywhere, at any time.

4. The Grumpy Cat Christmas movie.

3. A 24-hour infotainment cycle that calls itself "news."

2. Infotainment lists posing as "serious commentary."

1. The unchecked Iggy Azalea pandemic—there is still no vaccination!

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