Time to Kill | The Ocho | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly
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News » The Ocho

Time to Kill

8 ways to spend that extra hour when Daylight Saving Time ends.


8. Repeat to yourself, “It’s Daylight Saving, not SavingS,” 1,000 times.
7. Watch a whole episode of Fox & Friends; realize futility of life.
6. Pen a handwritten letter to a friend. Then scan and email it.
5. Read a newspaper first page to last (figuring in cutbacks, you’ll still have 45 minutes to kill).
4. Workshop ideas to discreetly kill your spouse.
3. Devise exit scenarios for escaping a murderous spouse.
2. Wake and bake at 5:20.
1. Begin preparing for a lifetime of sweet Fed-level graft, corruption and perpetual re-election (John Curtis only).