7. Watch a whole episode of Fox & Friends; realize futility of life.
6. Pen a handwritten letter to a friend. Then scan and email it.
5. Read a newspaper first page to last (figuring in cutbacks, you’ll still have 45 minutes to kill).
4. Workshop ideas to discreetly kill your spouse.
3. Devise exit scenarios for escaping a murderous spouse.
2. Wake and bake at 5:20.
1. Begin preparing for a lifetime of sweet Fed-level graft, corruption and perpetual re-election (John Curtis only).