Recently, former president Donald Trump posted a split-screen image of himself and Elvis and asked his followers on the TruthSocial media platform how much he looked like The King. (We are not making this up.) The staff here at Smart Bomb wanted to help out:

1—They both have eyes, but Trump's are kinda beady.
2—They both have noses, although Trump's nostrils are always flared.
3—They both have sexy lips, except for Trump.
4—Donald and Elvis are both trend setters when it comes to hair.
5—They both have nice complexions, except Trump's is red and scaly.
6—Like Elvis, women throw their panties at Trump.
7—They both have big waddles of flesh under their chin, except Elvis.
8—Elvis and Donald both look great in tight, white golf pants.
9—They both have hair growing out their ears and noses.
10—And the No. 1 reason Donald and Elvis are similar—they don't look like Taylor Swift.

The $56 Billion Man and the Computer Chip in His Brain
In order to outsmart courts, investors and Tesla drivers, billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk had his company, Neuralink, implant a wireless computer chip in his head. It is synced with a supercomputer called “Deep Purple” that is so smart it can out-think Donald Trump.

“Telepathy” is what Musk christened the device, but that may be a misnomer. There is no evidence it can read minds—yet. Musk got the chip after Judge Kathaleen McCormick ruled that he could not receive a $56 billion pay package from Tesla because it would harm investors.

With his new Deep Purple computer-brain, Musk intends to pull a fast one on the courts. In order to do so, Deep Purple was fed documents from New York's fraud case against Trump, because experts say it is the best blueprint for screwing investors, banks and the government.

Some pundits observe that Trump isn't very intelligent. But he does excel at cheating people and institutions, according to psychiatrists at Johns Hopkins.

Musk is the first human being to test Deep Purple. Cautionary note: Reuters reported in 2022 that testing of the chip resulted in the deaths of 1,500 animals, including sheep, monkeys and pigs. For his part, Musk said he isn't worried because he is not a sheep, a monkey or a pig. That's why they call him “genius.”

Don’t Like Federal Law? Then Screw It
Hey Wilson, have you heard the latest? Here in Utah, if we don't like a federal law, we can simply ignore it. For real.

The state Legislature passed, and the governor signed into law a measure by which we can thumb our nose (or use other gestures) at the feds, as if to say, “up yours.” Pretty cool, huh?

Of course, like most things, the GOP brain trust on Capitol Hill didn't come up with this legal jiu-jitsu on its own. Right now, Texas is pretending to take up arms against the United States—i.e., President Joe Biden—because immigrants are entering the country illegally from Mexico, as they have for decades. Of course, the U.S. Constitution doesn't allow states to go their own way, but why pick nits when the curtain is going up on political theater— “As MAGA World Turns.”

Oh, by the way, our governor, Spencer Cox, along with the rest of the Red State honchos, is on board with Texas Gov. Greg Abbott—who is playing the part of Sam Houston at The Alamo—as he dispatches the National Guard to stink it up so voters will continue to blame Democrats for the border chaos. Enter Donald “Davy Crockett” Trump, who commanded his congressional foot soldiers to scuttle a bipartisan immigration deal that could fix the mess.

How can he campaign against Biden's border failure if it's been fixed? Remember The Alamo!

Postscript—That's gonna do it for another fun-filled week here at Smart Bomb, where we keep track of the solar system so you don't have to. Hey Wilson, do you and the guys in the band know the moon is shrinking? For real. Its core is cooling and it's causing all kinds of moonquakes, which could mess up landing sites and exploration.

The lunar surface has shrunk by about 150 feet in circumference over the last few million years, according to NASA scientists. It's a big deal on the moon but too small to cause any ripple effect on Earth or to tidal cycles. No Wilson, we're not sure what The Bible has to say about that, but the Chinese Lunar New Year will go on as scheduled. FYI: this is the year of the Dragon.

Speaking of moons—in October, NASA will launch its Europa Clipper space vehicle, which will travel to one of Jupiter's moons, Europa, to determine if it's suitable for life. Scientists predict it has a salty ocean beneath its icy surface. Discovered in 1610 by Galileo, it's one of the most promising places in our solar system that could support life. Among other things, the Europa Clipper will bring along on its eight-year mission the names of people who signed up through its “Message in Bottle” program.

There are plenty of songs about the moon. But let's forego those today in honor of Trump and Elvis. Wilson, we know you and the guys have something special just for this occasion:

You ain't nothin' but a hound dog
Cryin' all the time
You ain't nothin' but a hound dog
Cryin' all the time
Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit
And you ain't no friend of mine

When they said you was high-classed
Well, that was just a lie
When they said you was high-classed
Well, that was just a lie
You ain't never caught a rabbit
And you ain't no friend of mine

You ain't nothin' but a hound dog
Cryin' all the time
You ain't nothin' but a hound dog
Cryin' all the time
Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit
And you ain't no friend of mine

When they said you was high-classed
Well, that was just a lie
When they said you was high-classed
Well, that was just a lie
Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit
And you ain't no friend of mine
“Hound Dog”—written by Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller, originally recorded by Big Mama Thornton (1952); popularized by Elvis Presley (1956)