7. Bros have switched out their winter cargo shorts for their summer cargo shorts.
6. Also, winter flip-flops for summer flip-flops.
5. Women are wearing shortshorts that cause missionaries to question their faith, sexuality and location assignment.
4. Around 36 local hikers have already been reported lost in the mountains.
3. Your redneck neighbors just brought back a truckload of fireworks from the Wyoming ’SplodyMart.
2. You’ve posted your first swimsuit pic of the season on Instagram … and the reviews are not good.
1. Pasty journalists who catch fire in sunlight are cranking out “Summer Fun!” articles under duress.