Last week, I wrote a column about being pleasantly surprised by the new Utah state flag when I saw it unfurled on a flag pole for the first time while driving down State Street.

Our new flag is effectively simple. It paints an accurate picture of Utah. Its beauty really grabbed my eye, and I noted that, unlike all the renderings I'd seen of it (and of the other new flag contenders that didn't win), I understood that the new flag spoke more favorably about Utah than the old flag ever did or ever could.

That old beast of a Utah flag was rightfully regarded as one of the worst and ugliest of state flags among all of our United States, plus the rebel territories of Florida and Texas and the protectorates of Puerto Rico, Guam, Alabama, Mississippi, Oklahoma and Arkansas.

I remain astounded that such stalwarts as Phil "Presidential Pardon" Lyman continue to make a big stink about our new flag, later being told his reticence to change it wasn't so much that he was enamored with the old flag; it was because he was miffed that our new flag was "woke" or some other silly nonsense. A woke flag. Can you believe it?

Lyman's objections to a new flag are also a reflection of his not wanting to change something that wasn't broken—that the old flag and whatever it represented in his mind were just jim-dandy, and there was no need to upgrade that old potato dumpling for a saucy new dish of colorful ratatouille.

I don't know if all that is correct about Lyman. I don't know the guy, but I do know that Lyman was prosecuted by the federal government in 2015 after he went joyriding up Recapture Canyon near the San Juan River in Juab Country. Yes, it is a federally protected area and, yes, especially so due to the sensitivity of rare archeological treasures found there.

In support of his belief that access to such places should not be restricted nor off limits to normal stand-up guys like himself—i.e., persons who like to rampage all over the place because it's their right as benevolent settlers—Lyman set out on a ride that captured national attention, especially among those predisposed to distrust the federal government. Of course it would. Who among us doesn't possess the means to acquire the expensive toys requisite in expressing their federal right to toss dirt and dust all over sacred relics of a disrespected culture, all the while burrowing ever more side trails into delicate, fragile and religious terrain?

The people who own that piece of land (U.S. citizens) and the people charged with its oversight (federal agencies like the Bureau of Land Management and National Park Service) paid attention. So, Lyman was charged, convicted and sentenced with a restitution fine of $96,000 and given 10 days jail in lieu of 36 month probation. Outside the fine, that was something akin to sentencing after a DUI, a minor drug offense or for prostitution—all of which are crimes not unknown to the good people of Juab County. The money? Who knows? But I'd be pissed if someone damaged something irreplaceable that meant something to me.

By the time the end of 2020 rolled around and our outgoing former President Donald Trump exited his office, Trump did what all presidents do and let loose with a woven basket full of presidential pardons. On Nov. 25, 2020, Trump served up a real Thanksgiving turkey to our nation when he pardoned shamed former Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn, who had made false statements to federal prosecutors.

Flynn recently advocated for our country to embrace not merely religion, but a one-god religion entirely. While I'd choose the god who places a field goal dead center when time ends, I'm pretty sure Flynn is one of those "Wide Right" guys, guys like our own putz, Mike Lee, who can't conceive of fair anything down the center. You know, Trump guys. So, this is going to be interesting.

Less than a month later—on Dec. 23, 2020—Trump pardoned Paul Manafort, who lied on his taxes; Roger Stone, who was guilty of witness tampering; and fraudster Charles Kushner, the father of Trump's son-in-law Jared Kushner. Steve Bannon would be pardoned for conspiracy to commit wire fraud in January. Those men comprise the core of the ugly bad set of characters that our former president surrounds himself with

But on Dec. 22, 2020, a slew of lesser-known individuals were also pardoned for various charges that included manslaughter, murder and assault with a dangerous weapon. The worst Greek boy ever, George Papadopoulos, was pardoned on that date as well for making false statements, as was another person of Greek heritage (I'm pretty sure I knew his family in Bingham Canyon), Weldon Angelos, who was given a mandatory minimum sentence for dispensing controlled substances. Now, that one I agree with. Angelos got screwed.

But there were two curious pardons on that day. Alfred Lee Crum of Oklahoma, previously jailed for moonshining, and Utah's very own Phil Lyman. Wow. Can you imagine their legacy? "Yeah, son, I went out to express my constitutional republic freedoms by putting some logs under the still, and my pal Phil here was merely thinking about burning some rubber on the grave of an old Indian fella, and the next thing you know, we're mentioned in the same breath as patriots like Michael Flynn and Steve Bannon. Great times."

So why did Phil get a pardon? Perhaps it has less to do with the crime he was sentenced for than it does for the one that Trump expects him to commit. That marker is going to come due.

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