Eight “romantic” Valentine’s Day destinations to avoid:

8. “My pants. Your reservation is confirmed.”

7. Reddit AMA with the cast of Girls.

6. “Close your eyes … now pick a page in this coupon book!”

5. Watching his Phil Collins tribute band, The Sussudios, rock Wendover.

4. The “Buckle-Buster V-Day Buffet” special at GorgeTown Fine Dining®.

3. The Lego Movie. For the 38th time.

2. Anywhere with “no witnesses” and “a functional floor drain.”

1. Provo.

Twitter: @Bill_Frost