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We Called It!

Eight headlines prepared by City Weekly to cover all possible 2016 Election outcomes


8. “Donald Trump Clinches Win; Nation Clenches Pussies”
7. “Jill Stein Victory Sends Shockwaves Around Flat Globe”
6. “Scrappy New World Order Android Evan McMullin FTW!”
5. “And He’s Not Gay. Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That.”
4. “Gary Johnson Smokes Opponents; Celebratory Doob”
3. “Vermin Supreme: America’s Cinderella Story”
2. “All Local Elections: Same as They Every Were, Duh”
1. “Utah to Secede Before Hillary Clinton is Sworn In”


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