Eight more things Gov. Gary Herbert is unaware of besides a $13 million “settlement payment” to a losing I-15 reconstruction bidder:
8. That his campaign billboards make him look like the lost member of Devo.
7. That opponent Peter Corroon is a cyborg sent from the future to destroy him.
6. The meanings of the terms “ethics,” “integrity” and “poly/cotton blend.”
5. That tax breaks for Cold Stone Creamery influenced the introduction of “Herbert Sherbet” in any way.
4. That his son is a stalker, not just a “really romantic fella.”
3. The recall notice on his SuaveDude 500 hairpiece.
2. That predecessor Jon Huntsman Jr. refers to him at parties as “the awesome joke I played on Utah.”
1. That anyone pays attention to what Republicans do in Utah.