What’s in Max Hall’s stocking this Christmas?

Scott Renshaw: The foot that he put in his mouth?

Ben Rosch: A big can of “Whoop-Ass,” and no NFL invites to training camp.

Christopher Westergard: I would like to fill his stocking full of “shut the F up!” and a candy cane.

Lindsay Fenton: A six-pack of Natty Ice (Light of course, got to keep that athletic physique), a lifetime supply of Haterade, and a date with Mr. Westergard—who also hates everything.

Jesse James Burnitt: Who the hell is Max Hall? More importantly, why should I care?

Nick Clark: A very tiny violin.

Susan Kruithof: Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, Freshly Updated from a local book retailer, and a Foot-from-Mouth Removal Kit.

Marty Foy: My forgiveness, because that’s what Jesus would do. Go Utes!

Derek Jones: Well since the “spirit” is on his side this year, I’m guessing he’ll be getting a front-of-the-line ticket to the celestial kingdom.

Julie Erickson: Naughty children get a fat lump of coal. Sorry, Max—maybe next year.

Leo Dirr: A half-eaten bean burrito with extra guacamole, and a picture of Jenna Jameson wearing Fruit of the Looms.

Josh Loftin: A starting position in the Canadian Football League.