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What to Call Someone Who Can't Pull Off a Coup?

Smart Bomb: The completely unnecessary news analysis



OK, what do you call a person who can't execute a coup? Donald Trump. What do you call a person who pressured the Department of Justice nine times to interfere in the 2020 election? Donald Trump.

What do you call a Trumper who says the election was not fraudulent? Attorney General Bill Barr. What do you call someone who told Trump to pound sand when he wanted the vote count changed? Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger. What do they call a guy who told investigators his evidence of voter fraud came from Facebook? Rudy Giuliani.

What do you call someone who the Jan. 6 crazies wanted to hang? Mike Pence. What do they call a person who said Jan. 6 is overblown by Democrats and was really just a picnic? Mike Pence. What do you call a guy who on multiple occasions pressured acting Attorney General Jeffrey Rosen to launch election fraud investigations despite restrictions on DOJ law enforcement matters? Trump Chief of Staff Mark Meadows. What do you call someone who cooked up a six-point coup plan for Trump? Republican lawyer John Eastman.

What do you call somebody who knew in advance of Jan. 6 about the Eastman coup plan but voted not to impeach Trump? Utah Sen. Mike Lee.

Could "What-Ifs" Have Saved Aaron Lowe?
There's a noisy party next door. You call the police but nobody comes. After a while you call again, pretending to be someone else. Nobody comes. The night wears on and it's too noisy to sleep. Then gunshots ring out.

Someone calls 9-1-1 and the police arrive after a few minutes. But it's too late. One man is dead and a woman is seriously injured. Lying dead is Aaron Lowe, 22, a U of U football player. Later, Buk Mawut Buk, 22, is arrested in connection with the shootings.

Salt Lake City, like many others, is woefully short on officers after an exodus following the death of George Floyd, protests and criticisms of a raft of cop shootings. A neighbor surmised that if police had arrived earlier, Lowe might still be alive. What if? Buk is still on probation for one of two robberies he committed in 2019. He also was arrested for possessing a stolen handgun. That charge was dismissed. If Buk had been in jail, Lowe would be alive.

What if? This tragic scenario is repeated everyday across the country. Anyone can get ahold of a handgun in a nation with 400 million firearms floating around. This is an angry country and we're armed to the teeth. Last year, guns killed 19,379 in the U.S. What if the 2nd Amendment didn't mean anyone can carry a gun anywhere? What if?

Sen. Lee: Parental Right to Menace School Boards
Utah's patriotic Republican congressional delegation is standing up for parents—damn straight. In a letter to the Department of Justice, Sen. Mike Lee and others demanded the FBI back off parents who threaten to maim, lynch or set fire to teachers and school board members when said parents get pissed off about critical race theory, masks, vaccinations and the Squid Game.

"We urge you to make very clear to the American public that the DOJ will not interfere with the rights of parents to come before school boards with video cameras and weapons and yell at educators about all that commie B.S. those lefties are shoving down our kids throats."

Rep. Burgess Owens doubled down, saying that without parents there would be no children and any attempts to have children without parents is unconstitutional. But it was Rep. Chris Stewart who really nailed it when he said an angry parent is not a domestic terrorist—if they are white.

"The attorney general is clearly attempting to restrict speech that is protected by the First Amendment. He has no right to silence the legitimate concerns of parents. And he has no right to brand these justly concerned parents as domestic terrorists," Stewart said. White people have civil rights, too!

Postscript—Whoo-whee, that does it for another nail-biter week here at Smart Bomb, where we keep track of the dissolution of our democracy so you don't have to. Donald Trump's latest stop on his never ending power-grab tour was to fanfare in Iowa. The latest Des Moines Register/Mediacom Iowa Poll shows 53% of Iowans now have a favorable view of Trump.

Carl Bernstein, of Watergate fame, was incredulous after new evidence of Trump's planned coup d'etat: "Why are so many people going along with this sociopathic undermining of our democracy," he said, adding: "We are looking at an ongoing cover-up led by the Republican Party to keep the people of the United States from knowing what the hell happened in these terrible moments [of Jan. 6] where for the first time in history, the president of the United States tried to subvert a legal and free election."

This is, of course, no longer about politics. It's a civil war—Red versus Blue and reason has gone by the wayside. The Trumpers strategy reminds Wilson of the Vietnam War adage, "We had to destroy the village in order to save it." If Republicans need to shred the Constitution in order to crown Trump and save the country, then damn it, they're gonna do it. God bless their sorry souls.

Well Wilson, things are getting weirder by the day, as though half the country were on ibogaine. There's got to be an antidote. We know the band likes Quaaludes, but there probably aren't enough to go around to all the Trumpers. So what do you and the guys have to pull us back from the edge?

You say you want a revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
You tell me that it's evolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world

But when you talk about destruction
Don't you know that you can count me out

Don't you know it's gonna be alright
Alright, alright

You say you'll change the constitution
Well, you know
We all want to change your head
You tell me it's the institution
Well, you know
You'd better free your mind instead

If you want money for people with minds that hate
All I can tell you is brother you have to wait

Don't you know it's gonna be alright
Alright, alright, al...
"Revolution"—The Beatles