What to Expect When You're Expecting a Pandemic | News | Salt Lake City | Salt Lake City Weekly
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What to Expect When You're Expecting a Pandemic

20 symptoms of a well-lived self-quarantine experience.



• Habitual anxiety.

• The urge to eat EVERYTHING.

• Amnesia trying to pinpoint the last time you showered.

• Bedhead Zoom meetings.

• Newfound appreciation for gray sweatpants (preferably ones with some sort of school logo).

• An inexplicable impulse to try bangs.

• You find yet another use for a tortilla.

• Trend alert: hate-liking tweets.

• Highly questionable DM hollers.

• Failed plans to work out; you opt to trim your bangs instead.

• Live Instagram video notification overload.

• Ironing board DJ sets.

• Making a trumpet from a discarded paper towel tube to play "Taps" during your #summerbod's memorial service.

• Eagerness to receive Facebook event invites you'd normally ignore.

• Coming up with creative solutions to hide your new bangs.

• Ennui.

• More day drinking than usual.

• Legitimate concerns over your toilet paper supply.

• Online wig shopping.

• Two words: Animal Crossing.

Editor's note: For breaking COVID-19 news stories and updates, please check out our blog section or follow us on Twitter @CityWeekly.