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News » Staff Box

What's Yours Is Mine


Did you ever have to return something that didn’t belong to you?

Scott Renshaw: My attorney has advised me not to answer this question.

Nick Clark: When I was 16, I found an envelope with $1,300 cash and a bunch of checks. When the guy came back for it, I asked for his ID, and he accused me of stealing it.

Ben Rosch: I have learned in my years of experience that nothing really belongs to me, so I perpetuate the cycle of things changing hands.

Julie Erickson: Nope. Finders keepers, losers weepers!

Brandon Burt: When I was 12, I found $20 lying on the ground. My first impulse was to walk around asking strangers if they had lost it. Fortunately, there was nobody around that day to take advantage of a naive, trusting lad.

Christopher Westergard: I steal people’s hearts all the time. I hate when I have to give them back. But what is a boy to do when he is such a ridiculous catch like me?

Sarah Bailey: Toothpaste. Second attempt shoplifting ever in my 27 years and, just like the first time, I failed. It was just last summer. I still have some community service to do.

Jeff Reese: I returned a book that I borrowed from the library once. Oh, wait, I still have it! Oops …

Joe Chepolis: Like a video rental? Or like booty from a good, old-fashioned grave robbing? Yes and no, respectively.

Paula Saltas: I did have to return our pool boy Fabio, but at least I got to keep him for the weekend.