Where Would You War? | Staff Box | Salt Lake City Weekly
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Where Would You War?

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Would you rather fight a war in the frigid mountains or the sweltering desert? Why?

Scott Renshaw: So the whole “how about not fighting a war at all” option isn’t even on the table?

Derek Carlisle:
I pity anyone who treads on the SLC Wasatch crew. For the most part, we all have the gear and the lungs to enjoy a fight up in the high altitudes and enjoy some skiing while on leave.

Nick Clark: They don’t have camel spiders in the snowy mountains, so I’ll take my chances with the Yeti.

Susan Kruithof: The frigid mountains. As I always say, you can pile on the thermal layers, but you can only take off so much. Naked and sweaty in the desert, not a pretty sight. Rosy cheeked and bundled up, adorable. Fashion is everything.

Rachel Piper: The frigid mountains. No scary sand people, and there are adorable tauntauns to ride on/sleep in.

Bryan Mannos: The cold for sure. Food shortage is less likely when the fallen are frozen preserved.

Becca Andrus: Sweltering desert, because everything is better when clothing is optional!

Kolbie Stonehocker: The real question is, which is better suited for battle: yetis or chupacabras? Because any good military leader enlists the aid of their local mystical creatures.

Rachel Scott: I don’t like war. I would go AWOL.

Cody Winget: Frigid mountains. You would fight to stay warm so you’d be more motivated. If you were fighting in a desert you might get too hot and pass out.
You could die from exhaustion or heat stroke in the desert, in addition to the regular fighting and in the mountains you’d be fighting for survival on two levels.

Jesse Fruhwirth: I’m a lizard. I can’t move unless it’s hot, and cold kills me.