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News » Staff Box

Wrong Lesson

Ever taught something that wasn't true?


Were you ever taught something in school or church that later turned out not to be true?

Rachael Stapley: When I went to school, teachers would always say, “You’ll need to learn this now while you’re young. Because when you’re an adult and have real responsibilities, there won’t be time to go back and learn this.” Well, I’m 32, and have yet to whip out my notes on the derivative rules for calculus.

Paula Saltas: That boys don’t have cooties.

Scott Renshaw: The monsignor at my Catholic church once preached from the pulpit as fact that KISS stood for “Knights in Satan’s Service.” I later discovered that Gene Simmons was an a-hole for entirely different reasons.

Kathy Mueller: As a Jehovah’s Witness, we were taught that the Earth is really only about 3,000 years old.

Alissa Dimick: That only bad people have tattoos and drink alcohol. I’m hammered at work with plenty of tattoos and I don’t think I’m that bad of a person.

Rachel Piper: Brontosaurus isn’t a dinosaur, Pluto’s not a planet, and I haven’t used calculus since junior year so I’m pretty sure that doesn’t exist either.

Colin Wolf: I remember watching a lot of Bill Nye the Science Guy in middle school, so I wasn’t taught anything incorrect. Bill’s the man.

Derek Carlisle: You can’t buy your way into heaven. So why the tithe and offering dishes? Oh, we all get to use the 1.4-million-square-foot Conference Center that seats 21,200? No?