Today at 11 a.m. at the corner of Main and 200 South, PETA will be giving away 60 free Tofurkys to protest inhumane Thanksgiving Day meals. If tofu isn't your bag, they'll also have sexy pilgrims to distribute the sumptuous non-meaty roasts.---

I'm not sure if I've ever used sumptuous as an adjective for non-meaty (or should it ever be used) ... anyway, something's bound to be sumptuous this morning. No word as of yet if women's rights avengers will be on hand to protest the sexy pilgrims.