This just in: The fourth(!) season of MTV's Jersey Shore will be filmed in ... Italy. Aren't foreign relations bad enough without launching a guido bomb toward Europe? Jesus ... ---

What’s new tonight:
Hellcats (The CW) Following the return of One Tree Hill (which has been on since, what, 1986?), Hellcats moves into its new Tuesday timeslot. Since I stand by my previous assertion that this college-cheerleader soap is better than Glee, I think it’ll do well on Tuesdays while Glee is off—maybe even more so when it returns next month. Tonight, the tense bus ride to Sectionals continues after major bombs were dropped last time around, and now cheerleader blackmail is in the mix, too! Squeal! Will the Hellcats ever be friends again? Pins and needles here!

Lights Out (FX) You’re not watching this gritty-good boxer drama hard enough—we don’t need another Terriers on our hands, people. Think The Shield meets Rocky and you’re halfway there.

State of the Union Address (Most Channels) President Barack Obama finally addresses the Birthers: “Back off, you fucking hillbillies—I’ve got a country to run. Don’t you have a tire fire to tend to or some livestock to rape? Let the grownups talk.” OK, just wishful thinking.

Also new tonight:
The Biggest Loser (NBC); One Tree Hill (The CW); White Collar (USA); Tosh.0, The Onion SportsDome (Comedy Central); The Fashion Show (Bravo); Melissa & Joan: Joan Knows Best (We); Southland (TNT); Conan (TBS)

Preview: Hellcats is (are?) back on The CW tonight!