This just in: ABC has canceled daytime soaps All My Children and One Life to Live, both of which have been on the air for, like, 50 years. Is nothing sacred? ---

What’s new tonight:
The Office (NBC) It’s the beginning of the end for Michael Scott (Steve Carell), as tonight he trains his most-definitely-temporary managerial replacement, the righteously-named DeAngelo Vickers (Will Ferrell). After this, only two episodes left for Carell—savor ‘em.

The Paul Reiser Show (NBC) Series Debut: Read all about it in True TV (Item 2). Then skip it.

Bones (Fox) Chupacabra Alert: When the host of a bullshit Ghost Hunters-style reality show is killed (yes!), Booth and Bones are called in to investigate the possibility that it was perpetrated by the legendary Chupacabra. And there’s also, for some reason, Jo Anne Worley (Wiki Laugh-In, kids).

Conan (TBS) QOTSA Alert: Conan O’Brien welcomes Glee’s Matthew Morrison (meh), The Conspirator’s Alexis Bledel (double meh) and … Queens of the Stone Age! Last night, Conan had The Kills—now, QOTSA? Suh-weet.

Also new tonight:
Community, Parks & Recreation, 30 Rock, Outsourced (NBC); American Idol (Fox); The Vampire Diaries, Nikita (The CW); The Real Housewives of New York (Bravo); Eagleheart (Adult Swim); Archer (FX), Secret Diary of a Call Girl, Gigolos (Showtime)

Preview: Kelly Kapoor has designs on the new Office manager, which isn’t weird at all: