What’s new on the tube tonight:

America’s Next Top Model (The CW) Season Premiere: Remember that gimmick of including male models in the competition from last season, er, cycle? It appears to now be a regular thing—you can’t tell Tyra what to do! Also, Miss J is back on the judging panel, replacing boring model Rob Evans and annoying “social media correspondent” Bryanboy. Other than that, it’s same show that launched 11 years ago on UPN (wiki it).

Dallas (TNT) Summer Premiere: J.R. (Larry Hagman) is still dead, and now Southfork Ranch has burned down! This is the extent of my knowledge/interest in Dallas 2.0.