- Sarah Palin
The closest I ever came to the Mayan civilization was when I visited the Tulum ruins near Cancun and, later, when I ate some chocolate mole at the Red Iguana. The various mole sauces served at Red Iguana are said to be Aztecan in origin, not Mayan, but eating Aztecan fare is far closer to the Mayan diet (or what I suspect the Mayan diet comprises) than my own standard fare of Greek sauces like avoglemono. At Tulum, the only thing served was the beating sun. So, outside of those two brief encounters, I don’t know much about the Mayans.
I know that before they began eating each other or falling prey to various plagues and sundry armies, they built pyramids and had some big-time cities all over Central America. I know they were short in stature despite the fact those stairs going up the pyramids are difficult even for tall people to ascend. I’m pretty sure they were adept at growing vegetables, but I don’t know what they ate for protein. Insects and fish, maybe.
A few years ago, I read a book that
explained how Antarctica was mapped by
ancient mariners centuries before the modern-day accepted date of its discovery. The
book began in Antarctica (speculatively
Atlantis), then took a trail up through South
America, where the author said white men
in long robes brought knowledge to the
Incas. The author also made a case that the
Mayans, too, were taught some big-time
secrets by the tall, bearded white men.
I then learned the world is going to end in the year 2012 because that’s when the Mayan calendar ends, and it has to do with Earth’s life cycle along with the alignment of certain planets, stars and constellations. For a guy who wasn’t there, he wrote quite an account and one that—despite my skepticism about his version of pre-history South America—kept me thinking, “Well, maybe so, yeah, I can believe that. Maybe.”
That’s all I remember. I can’t find the
book now and have forgotten its name and
author. If any of the above rings a bell, let
me know because searching for it online
has led me nowhere. In fact, it’s made it
worse—there must be hundreds of books
and thousands of articles available about
the doomsday that awaits us in just over
two years. For the past hour, I’ve been
reading one scary headline and equally
frightening scenario after another, all
related to the Earth and our civilization
abruptly coming to an end in 2012. Makes
me wonder why anyone would bid on the
2016 Olympic Games, but apparently some
earthlings maintain rosy attitudes about
surviving earthquakes, volcanoes, disease,
pestilence, floods and Sarah Palin.
That’s right. Of
all the scary things
I saw online today,
a remark by Sarah
Palin that she
“wants to play a
major role in national
politics” was the
scariest. Her statement
she wants that role,
“if the people will
have me” and is a clear indication she’s
aligning herself—and measuring base
support—for a presidential run in 2012.
That’s it. That’s the end. Put down your
Mayan calendars and save the $12 by
skipping the movie.
You’re all brave and hearty Americans,
blessed with desire and a winning attitude
that can deal with rising Earth temperatures,
snow in July, wine-making in
Montana, and our coastal cities all taking
on the water depth and texture of Venice,
Italy. You can steer around excess lava
flows, take shelter from gale force winds,
and you know if you avoid the Los Angeles
freeways, you won’t be crushed under
them when they topple. Hell, thanks to
Fidel Castro’s Cuba, you’ve even learned to
deal with Communists as next-door neighbors.
You mostly believe in a supreme
higher being, one who is fair and just, one
who protects you from evil.
The trouble is, that higher being stops at protecting you from evil. She or he cannot protect you from stupid. I must have been asleep. I must have been stupid. When I last looked, Sarah Palin was saying, “See ya, suckers!” to the citizens of Alaska when she resigned as their governor.
Now, she has a book out—another
prerequisite for seeking major political
office—that not only puts her back in the
spotlight but also gives her the chance to
rewrite history in her favor. And she does.
According to scores of articles, it appears
that Sarah Palin has little use for such a
pesky item as a fact checker. Instead of
being taken to task for those misappropriations
of the truth, she’s instead found posing
with Oprah Winfrey
and being coddled by
Barbara Walters. And,
Last year they would have chewed her up and spit her out—assuming they would have given her the time of day, which they did not.
This year, with a million fans on Facebook, the father of her grandchild baring his ass for Playgirl, a husband who disappears more than David Copperfield, the abandonment of her governorship, another Newsweek cover (Palin calls it a “sexist” cover although she posed for that leggy shot and happily rides the sexy horse for the unsexy Republican party), plus a best-selling fictional novel, she’s welcome in the Winfrey/Walters softball tent. Watch the YouTube videos as Oprah redefines the words “kid gloves.” Those looked like adoring eyes, not piercing eyes. Besides doing nearly everything well, Oprah excels at sympathy. Just ask President Obama.
That means more legitimacy for Palin.
Just as the Mayans predicted, the death
comet set on destroying Washington, D.C.,
in 2012 remains on course.
The devil works in mysterious ways, I tell ya.